June 2011
1 post
Leveling the Playing Field →
My latest Penthouse article, complete with a cartoon picture of me.
May 2011
2 posts
You've Obviously Never Met My Mother
This might just be the way to get disowned forever.
“Happy Mother’s Day Mom! I got you Wayan’s Brothers tickets!”
KICK TO THROAT. STOMPED UNTIL UNCONSCIOUS.
Do you imagine Sir Elton, Dionne, Stevie and the leader of the Pips had any idea of the lobotomy of a ditty they were creating while in studio laying down the tracks for “That’s What Friends Are For?” A song to forever haunt the world and ruin usually joyous occasions such as weddings, proms and the First Masturbation Of The Year festivities (First Masturbation Of The Year is...
March 2011
4 posts
My presentation on blogging and self promotion
(click article for a better view)
This is an article about a recent presentation I gave at Princeton Public Library about blogging and self promotion.
Sorry for the scan but my local newspaper doesn’t put all of its stories online because this is 2011 and they still aren’t sure this whole internet thing is going to catch on.
If You're Looking For My Dad Blog
Click this link to visit Message With A Bottle.
2 tags
Photographs And Memories
I used to take family pictures out of the frames and replace them with the original photos that came with the frame. My family always left them behind pictures of weddings, birthdays and random moments that prove we grew up Catholic. I’m not sure if they planned on returning the frame one day or they just felt bad throwing out photos of such good looking people. It would often take months...
Jesus would make the ultimate contestant on The...
He is rugged and ripped - Before Extreme Home Makeover and HGTV, Jesus was the hot carpenter in town. He is rugged, always naturally tan and really good with his hands. There is no household dilemma he can’t solve. Some people even say he can do miracles with a saw. He brings unlimited wine - Nothing worse than when a group date gets going and they are all out of the Pinot Noir. BOOM!...
February 2011
3 posts
It's Me. In New Orleans. Running from women with...
photo courtesy of AKoch Photography
Batters Up - [Penthouse Magazine]
Name That Tumor
(song playing from my computer)
My dad: “Who sang that song? That’s from my era.”
Me: “Test your knowledge. You guess.”
My dad: “Hmmmmm was that Brook Benton?”
Me: “No”
My dad: “Ok. Let me think.” (walks away)
(yells from down the hall)
My dad: “Was it Brook Benton?”
Me: “YOU JUST SAID THAT!!!!”
Prepare to be put to sleep
January 2011
7 posts
And a gentlemanly f*ck you to Google
Seriously, Google, I love you like a half-brother that takes the blame when the parents find porn but sometimes your stupid innovations piss me off. I’m sure you implement them under the guise of “helping users” when really it’s just an intrusion of privacy.
I’m talking specifically of Gmail and a Gchat feature known inside Google’s headquarters as...
Happens At Least Once A Week
Click the images for a better look.
I Wrote A Book. I Love Reddit. Naturally, I...
Jesus Christ What A Good Book!
I wanted to read so many different books as a kid but my grade school library was awful.
I went to Catholic school.
First, it didn’t carry anything the school deemed “against religious teachings” and secondly they had one copy of everything. If you did want a book you had to wait too damn long. The school year was over by the time it was my turn for a book.
I’m still...
Easily the stupidest song ever written...
I wanna be crystal clear on this little ditty: the dude is unhappy with his woman, so answers a personal ad by a woman who is also unhappy. It seems perfect because they both like the same crappy things; fruity drinks, getting soaked to their underwear (not in the good way), neither a fan of yoga and both, medical miracle, have half a brain.
They decide to meet at a bar or for coffee or...
Caution! Bacon May Be Slippery!
Snapped this grocery shopping the other day. I’m so glad they warned me.
pichino asked: I've been peeing blood this week. What's that all about?
June 2010
1 post
What happened to the old blog?
If you’re reading this section it means that you were once a reader of my personal blog Great Moments in Christory. I want to thank you once again for doing something so absurd.
It’s with mixed emotions that I announce that the Christory blog is no longer with us. I say mixed emotions because I’m both happy and sad about this development. First, I know very little about web...